I Think That I am Becoming a Southerner

It took some soul searching, but I have finally come to a crossroad in my life where I know that I am changing...for the good or the bad is yet to be seen. I am becoming a Southerner! I'll explain...

My tan line is ridiculous! Everyone of you that read this blog has seen me come back home dark skinned, now it is out of control. My skin tone is the darkest I have ever noticed. And let's not mention that I have taken the "farmer's tan" to an entirely new level. I'm talking ankle to knee cap is like a big black leg brace being worn on each leg, and my dark necked "ring-around-the-collar" is utterly absurd.

Alligators, snakes, and lizards aren't a big deal anymore. I had to pick up a huge dead water moccasin (most aggressive snake in Florida) out of the parking lot the other day, not even thinking twice about it. Actually seeing them is a big thrill of my day. I have gotten so use to the alligators in my park that I tend to get closer to the water each day I see one. And, those little lizards that everyone sees in Florida (that are not geckos), I find them on my car, in the house, or on the front porch...no big deal, their just little lizards.

I am man enough to even admit my dipping tobacco intake is bad!

I am now studying to become a Class A Driver. Yes, I will be licensed to drive a big rig probably in the next month or so. The same big rigs that everyone hates driving next to on the highway, and the same ones that have drivers always riding your ass for no apparent reason other than they hate everything about your little car. Being a Class A Driver also means that I am going to have to know the inside and outside of the truck for pre-trip inspection purposes, and know what is wrong with my vehicle's engine if something goes wrong. Which brings me to my last topic...

This Saturday night, I will be attending...(cough,cough) the Coke Zero 400 in Daytona. Where all the big named drivers will be racing. Let me explain though, I am going with my boy Den who got the tickets through a buddy of his, and there in the luxury tower at the track. So I will be hanging with all the big-dog racing freaks being taken care of during the entire race. Not to mention that I will be able to see every part of the track while women make sure that my ever excessive drinking habit is getting taken of. Tell me you would pass this up! Den told me that I have to be "into" the night on July 4th. So what I am going to do is go to the race, get absolutely hammered, throw in a lipper, scream like an idiot, then go to some dirty strip club and try to talk a dancer into coming home with me. After all...

I think that I am becoming a southerner!