The Trip to Remember

How can I write about a place where it's slogan is, "What ever happens here, stays here!"? How can I write about a place named Sin City? How can I write about things that I saw and did when I have family members that read this blog on the regular? Well, while reading the book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max, I really have nothing much to hide! Because I was a good boy, I think! Just so that all of my readers know my new nickname is "The Night Train" and I think that you all will know why after reading this.

When you start your Las Vegas trip with the people you haven't seen since Thanksgiving and two of your very good friends are waiting for you at the airport drinking the hell out of the tallest beer mug I have ever seen, I knew the week was going to be great! Chet, Paul, and I started the a walked that felt like 5 miles to just get a taxi to our hotel which was the Flamingo Hotel and Casino. On the way we saw a guy that very closely resembled Wayno Lefort and Chet was flipping out that he had to get a pic. We didn't and Paul ended up being called a loser from then on. After we finally settled into our room we got a crew together and hit up the best buffet I have ever had inside the Flamingo. Stuffing our faces was very pleasurable, but someone got alittle too excited about it and when he stood up to get more something was pointing out of his paints(that's all I will say about that). The longest day of my life then went to a hole in the wall casino next door to ours called Wild Bills(get use to this place). Nobody won, the theme of the night! So we started to relax, start drinking and watch the games on the tube. Before we knew it the "best band in vegas" went on stage in front of us and we ended up being there biggest fans. Since I don't drink as much beer as I use to I knew that I was in for some trouble, and of course the 2 for $4 beers were flowing. At one point I had to say around 1:00 am I had to race to the bathroom and spray all over the toilet. YES! Great first day in Vegas! I ended up pulling a 27 hour day by finally leaving Wild Bills at 3:30 and stumbled to my room.

Day two was another early rising for some strange reason waking up at 7:30. Chet was dead so I decided to take a shower and do some walking around. I got in touch was The Rick and he was already ready to go so we did what any good friend would do...open the shades and get Chet's punk ass out of bed! He wasn't too thrilled with us got together with Jon Fid, Paul, and Kel and hit up another place that you will hear more of O'Shea's bar and Casino that also had a Subway, Burger King, some Mexican place, and another place that I don't remember the name. O'Shea's was great cuz it was small, they had two great bars with tvs, poker room, and tables. Listening to Jon Fid talk in the Subway line was the best. "Yeah....I want the works...yeah I like that...yea that's the good stuff...yea that too!" Hilarious! His grinder was so huge that they didn't even cut the thing for him. After breakfast/lunch they all stayed to play poker and me and Paul went to Wild Bills after finding the best game the night before in Blackjack Switch. Well, our money didn't last for very long and I had about enough of gambling, especially at that hole in the wall where the only thing good there are your 2 for $4 beers and "the best band in vegas". So I looked at Paul and was like, "You wanna just get drunk?". It was noon, but the hell with it we're in VEGAS!!! We went back to O'Shea's hit the bar played video poker for hours and got hammered on cheap rum and cokes. The rest of the day is pretty much a blur. I know that I didn't eat anything the rest of the day went and got changed around midnight to go out to some club and found Chet sleeping in his bed. Went back downstairs met with about 15 of the guys and went to I believe Magrettas and was bumping into everyone in the club especially men that are twice my size. I looked over at Fid and was like, "Yooo...I think I need to leave!". I was walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Fid brought me to my elevator where I told him that I could make it from here. Well, I did make it after playing bumper cars with the walls. 2 for 2!

Absolutely in pain I woke up to Chet at about 8am! I was like, "Where are you going?" in some strange language and he said for a walk, "LETS GO!!!". We started walking and I was in desperate need of some grease so we hit up that Mexican place at O'Shea's and I ate a bigger burrito than I ever made working at Taco Bell in high school. Killed the the thing and kept walking. Today I was ready, the Kentucky Derby was today, we were going to finally go to a Las Vegas Strip Club, and I was thirsty! Fid thought that it would be a good idea if we went and saw the race at Caesars Palace, sweet we're there. That place was amazing, I really couldn't believe that it was built by a man. Fid was trying to explain to mainly me but Chet and Rick to about how to bet on horses. After a big dilemma(I had no idea who I wanted and what I wanted) I chose Denis of Cork(you can figure out how I called this horse), Colonial (said it different) John, and Smooth Air with a bunch of different cheap trifectas. Like I posted yesterday it was very exciting and we all lost. We ended up going back to our rooms to nap except me! I went to the Parisi's room to keep the party going. I was thinking that since it was Saturday and my last night, why not? We stayed there for a little while and were getting ready for a night at the strip club! About 12 of us hit up this place called Saphire which was very heavenly. A huge room with our own table and when I say hot, I mean hot females everywhere! Since my week was going so well, I figure that I would spend a little money too bad for me that I got left my cash in our room and all I had was $20 on top of that I wasn't getting dressed up, screw that. So Chet helped a brother out and bought drinks for me that night. When we left, former NBA star Gary Payton walked into the club and I was so excited to see him that you know what I did...walked right by him! Nice! As you may guess, we finished our night with our band at Wild Bills. At this point at Bills I was out of my mind. That this poor guy that is pictured with us above got the business. He passed out when the band went off stage and I continued to be the ass that I was and put stuff on top of this poor sleepy man. I went as far as putting fries and cookies on this guy's hat. The band finished at about 3:30 and everyone was hungry but me, because when we left Bills I puked again outside. This time it didn't feel to right and as the guys went to Fat Burger, somewhere I have been wanting to go, I went to the room and made some calls to see if I could get discounts. Lights out! 3 for 3!

The worst day of my life! Woke up to Fid, The Rick, Chet, and Nitch in the room. I wake up feeling good but after packing, showering, and walking around the feeling stopped. I went over to O'Shea's to meet up with everyone else and tried to eat Burger King...bad move! I walked with the guys to Bellagios Hotel and Casino so that they can eat and while I walked around and sat in their sports book and watch some games. When it possible couldn't get any worse for me I saw this women and I thought that she was checking me out so I walked by he and said, "Hey, hows it going?". Her response was classic not only because it happened to me but because it happened to me. She said, "Wanna get out of here?", with a smile. "HUH?" I had to pause for a second and remember where I am. Oh that's right! When could this ever happen unless I am in Las Vegas. I just looked at her smiled and walked away. It was so funny, that I couldn't even ask her for a price. When I told the guys they were in tears! The rest of my time spent with them they called me "The Night Train"! I was starting to get late and the guys' plane flight left at 5:00 so they had to be there for 3:00 so I went with them to see if I could get an earlier flight and just chill at the airport maybe take in a nap. Well, what happened was I couldn't get a flight and I puked for 4 hours in the airport. At one point I remember hearing a guy on the shitter say while I was yackin, "Come on guy?!". I felt bad so every time after that I just warned everybody that was in a stall that I was about to give a last goodbye to Las Vegas. I didn't fly into Orlando until 7:30 in the morning Monday and had to drive an hour and a half home. Still felt like crap for the next two days even after sleeping 12 hours on Tuesday. I am kind of still recovering and staying away from the booze for a little while, I mean I have a wedding that I am in in a month and "The Night Train" needs a break.

Hope that you enjoyed this because I sure did telling it. It was a longer weekend then what I told and I would go there again, but I would do it a little different. I wouldn't gamble at all and stay somber during the day! I am not going to proof read this because the thoughts came to me as I wrote so sorry for the jumping around. I got these random pics from Kel which tells it all. Man, What a Week!!!