On Friday night, July 4th, I did something that I never would have envisioned myself ever doing. It was so different than anything I ever experienced, so much that I have been recovering from it since then (hence no blogs). That night, I went to (from what I am told) the most prestigious race track in the entire world, the race track in Daytona, home of the Daytona 500. The picture above is the end of the race, my seats were just in front of the finish line to the right.
The race was the Winn Dixie 250, Nationwide Series race in which I have no idea what that means other than it has no baring on the Sprint Nextel Cup. Normally from what I understand, the Nationwide Series includes up and coming racers with a mix of big names that just love to race. This race that I attended was filled with big names since it was in Daytona, but the only names that i was worrying about were Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Tony Stewart. It was a very hot day and I had already started my boozing early in the day at a picnic. By the time we got to Daytona (25 minute ride tops) I was feeling a great buzz...from the alcohol! Slapping five with the local idiots and screaming, "LET'S GO JUNIOR!!" was a major highlight of mine on the way into the track. My buddy, who talked me into going, is a major fan of NASCAR, so needless to say he wasn't impressed with me making fun of the situation I was getting myself into.
We make our way inside and I was thoroughly stunned at how many beautiful women there were. I had heard rumors that lots of women love racing, but I did not believe it for a second. It wasn't just because I was feeling good from drinking in the heat, all the women I saw there were hot...well, there were some with "summer teeth". I grab 2-16 ounce cans of Bud Light for myself and we sit in our seats. I have never seen so many people wearing a shirt with a drawing of a person on it. These people are crazy, they really do live for racing! The cars start the race by circling the track twice so they can get the engines ready for take off when the green flag is waving. At this point when the cars pass us for the first 5 laps do I gain some respect to the drivers. These cars were flying! You never really get a sense of how fast they go until you have been to a race. After the fifth lap, my cans were empty so I went to get a couple of more. Get back to my seat at lap 9, I sit...turn my head to the left...then pull my neck muscle by turning to the right as fast as I can. This goes on for about 15 laps and 2 empty cans later. "Anybody need anything?". I had to get out of there, I go and take a piss in something that looks like a huge metal trash can, when a guy says to me, "Man, did see that move by Busch on lap 13!" "Crazy, right!", was the only thing that I could think of saying and then I got the hell out of there before I even finished peeing and grabbed two more beers. I got back to my seat for lap 25, I turn to my buddy, "Hey, how many laps are there?".
"100."
"Damn!"
Somehow I make it to lap 60 without leaving my seat. I am really starting to feel the booze now so I start screaming like an idiot, "Let's go Junior!!!!!" just to fit in. I call a few of my friends so that they can experience the incredibly loud engines when they pass us, just to amuse myself. Lap 75, still drinking, getting really bored, and have still not seen a crash! Pissed off is an understatement! I leave to take another piss, and grab some more beers, I have been down there so much that the girl gave me a free one. Thanks, that's the least that Daytona can do for me. I start to head back up to my seat while looking to see what lap we are on, when I bump into a cop. "Great race, huh, officer!" "Hell Yeah!", he says! Unreal, where exactly am I. We have less than ten laps to go when finally a car goes out of control, but misses all the cars and lands in the grass field untouched. "CAN I PLEASE SEE SOMEONE GET INTO AN ACCIDENT, DAMMIT!" Since there was a "caution" on the track, the race cannot finish in a caution, so what happens, two extra laps. Super!
Joe Gibbs racing ended up finishing in 1st and 2nd place by Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch respectably. I only knew the names of these racers because I had to look it up. I know that Earnhardt Jr. finished 3rd and when the race was over I figured out that Stewart never even was in the race because he was sick, lucky bastard! Walking out I was completely smashed, why wouldn't I be I really just sat through 100 laps of cars going around in a circle, and with no crashes to boot. I needed to drink to just get through this event. I really still don't get it! Why is the nation so into this sport? I think that this sport is for the easily amused. At least that I can say that I have been to Daytona and saw a race there, but I would never recommend to go to a race to any of my friends. Unless they would enjoy drinking in the company of fanatical fans that will go out of their way to bother you while you are pissing, and watching cars go around in a circle causing you to pull a muscle in your neck.
At least I didn't attend the Daytona 500 which is 200 laps...I can't even envision how I would be able to take that...even drunk!
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